salaam'alayk.
yeayers. alhamdulillah that im still standing and alive.
how time flies, it felt like only last week they celebrated my 15th birthday. yes. it has been five years. and as today marks my 20th year of living in this world, I pray to be a better person. I pray to be a better servant of Allah. I pray to be a better daughter to mama and abah. and I pray to be a better friend to everyone. I noticed that I am still stuck in that negative world of mine, and that shall change cuz honestly, it tires me. a lot. There are too many things that affects me and that is why I am trying hard to at least be ignorant those unimportant things. I used to say that I wish I could go back in time where I am an 8 year old or 12 year old kid, who has not much of worries to be taken care of. but this is life. and life aint going the way you always want it to be, right?
aaah. how I missed the feeling of blogging where I can talk as much as I could without having to worry of what the readers are going to comment on me cuz I know, I dont have that much readers. hahah. I just need to let out whatever Im feeling inside. now, back to the point. where was I? ah. negativity. when life gives you lemon, make a lemonade out of it. heh. you can say that all over again, you can repeat that as many times as you want to but believe me, its hard. I kind of turned into that girl with so much problem that she didnt even know what those problems are. hah! get what I mean? no? nevermind. Its time to be more positive, think positive, talk positive, and do positive. I'll try my best to not whine and .. whatever those negative thingies are. :)
on a different point,
Im grateful that I've successfully moved on. dont ask. but its a great feeling ever! or maybe its not. this is why, again Im stressing at how I wish I could turn back time. Allah knows best. if it is not meant to be, then it wont happen, I believe.
and this is about how I am totally confused with what Im feeling right now. I know maybe it IS weird to like someone that does not exist physically. ergh. if you get what I mean. but at least I am happy that I finally have someone to talk to. or maybe I shouldnt be bothering him too much as people tend to get annoyed easily by me. heheh.
ISNT IT WEIRD HOW IM POSTING THIS IN BLOG? WHY DO I FEEL SO MUCH MATURED WRITING A POST LIKE THIS? tell me, age is just a number because I totally am not ready yet to be an adult. 1 year remain to enjoy life. because 21 carries a lot of responsibilities as you are already considered an adult by then. *ok eventho you still have those childish moments, everyone does*
wohooou! such a long post. by the way,
HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY DEARSELF ! <3 p="p">
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