luah.

kelu.

tak tahu mana titik mula luahan.

yang itu tak kena,

yang ini tak kena.

satu -

kau pernah? 

buat sesuatu paksa diri sebak dalam dada.

buat sesuatu paksa hati terima rela.

buat sesuatu diri tak pasti akhirannya.

pasti pernah.

itu apa yang aku sedang lalui.

itu yang aku fikirkan hari demi hari.

mungkin kau kata,

ramai lagi keadaan lebih buruk.

ya, itu aku sendiri fahami.

cumanya aku kurang pasti,

tabahkah aku untuk hari menanti.

dua - 

penat.

realitinya yang itu.

kenapa tidak diterima?

soal hati,

soal perasaan.

kan senang sekali kau tiup,

berubah keduanya?

hilang tanpa jejak,

walau kau tahu itu kan fantasi.

wahai hati,

lupa perasaan yang dulu?

lupa bagaimana kau tersiksa?

lupa berapa lama kau mendiam?

one - 

sumpah penat. i dont even know if it is real or not. I'm torn in between. deep inside, it is not that I dont want to do it. I am still lacking in experience, still lacking in knowledge and everything else related to the business. you just dont know how pressured I feel. How lost I am. How I despise myself for feeling this way. I just dont want to be seem so low. I cried everyday. yes, almost everyday. because I'm scared. you see me goofing around all day long but deep inside, it's dark. I seem to have lost myself for the past few weeks. I kept on questioning myself, I kept on comparing myself, I kept on disbelieving my own opinion and felt like I have no stand at all. 

two - 

I dont even believe myself for this anymore. I let myself run loose around people and the result, i'm getting even more vulnerable than before. getting attached and hating myself for that. I just feel like throwing a can of soda to his head and shout 'hey you i like you, cant you tell? I made it so obvious that I talk to you everyday, can't you tell?' and simply forget everything about it. I just need emotional support from you ergh can't you tell?!